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Joke of the Day

"[space mission studying behaviour of snakes on the moon] astronaut: ""we should've taken our own"" astronaut holding net: ""just keep looking"""

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs they screw in dirty vans..."

"I wasn't going to get a brain transplant... But then I changed my mind."

"I read you can have a stroke without displaying any symptoms and I was like ""holy shit, I'm definitely not displaying any symptoms!"""

"Nothing cuts deeper than an insult with bad grammar and a spelling mistake."

"So apparently in a job interview, if the interviewer asks you to choose one word that describes you, the correct answer is not fergalicious."

"As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought, Dogs sure are easily amused!... ...then I realized I was watching the dog chasing his tail."

"Why did God invent yeast infections? [NSFW] So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt."

"What's red and invisible? No tomatoes"

"This one time, I went to prison, but I got out without a scratch- I beat off all the other prisoners"