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Joke of the Day

"Charles Dickens' book on wine making, Grape Expectations."

"I haven't watched porn since last year The past 6 hours has been tough"

"Women are like ice cream.. They're cold at first, if you keep them warm they melt, then they get fucking sticky."

"What animal is best at playing hide and seek? The airplane."

"Words can't describe how beautiful you are... But numbers can. 2/10"

"My mother said that I looked ""cheap"" with my bra showing underneath my clothes - so I took my bra off."

"What do you call pasta with ketchup? Spaghetto Ba-dum tss."

"What did the ambitious suicidal person say? I'm going to kill myself, or die trying."

"The phone rings, and Dad asks: What does the caller ID say? Mom: It's a private caller. Dad: Don't answer that. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher."

"Saint West, the patron of selfies"