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Joke of the Day

"When I bring a girl back to my bedroom, I tell her ""this is where the magic happens"", then I pull a rabbit out of a hat."

"If my mom had just faked having a headache I wouldn't be writing this bullshit on the internet right now"

"Takeoffs are optional... Landings are mandatory"

"I'm going to the gym because I heard they have free weights. I wonder how many they'll let me take."

"Do they have any car wash in Albania? Yes. They call it ""rain"""

"What happened to Windows 9 Windows 7 ""Eight"" Nine..."

"I don't do drugs. I take drugs. My brain does the drugs. Follow me? Me either -because drugs"

"They used to be called ""Jumpolines"" Till your mother had a go."

"Always check the height of any nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders.... How I learned this is not important..."

"Why was the harvester pleaded guilty? Cause he's a cereal killer."