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Joke of the Day
"First rule of Botox club: Nobody look surprised when someone new joins."
Next Joke
"Please leave a message after the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II soundtrack."
"I didn't realize how many of the songs on my iPod are about sex and drugs until I hit ""shuffle"" in a car with a 12-year-old in it."
"Have you seen the movie constipated? It hasn't come out yet."
"Change is inevitable... Unless you go to a vending machine."
"If we were stranded in a desert and a snake bit my penis, would you suck the poison out?"
"Three logicians walk into a bar The bartender asks: ""Do you all want a drink?"" The first logician says: ""I don't know."" The second logician says: ""I don't know."" The third logician says: ""Yes."""
"[shipwreck diary] Day 44: Some of the survivors have resorted to drinking their own piss. Nobody wants to drink mine cos it's 'too chunky'."
"My magic watch say's you don't have any underwear on... Oh, you do?... It must be 15 minutes fast."
"In hell, the thermostat is guarded by a bunch of dads."