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Joke of the Day
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van."
Next Joke
"wife: um, why is the zoo calling about a missing giraffe? me measuring the ceiling: no idea."
"Never heard this joke before... neither will you"
"Can't ever go back to work after what my boss just said to me ""You're fired"""
"I have come up with the most awkward event of all time: the Father-Son wedding dance."
"I orgasmed during the sermon today. It was my cum to Jesus moment."
"Why do people hate playing uno with Mexicans? They always take the green cards"
"WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THE SILENT TREATMENT?! ~me, drunk, at a wax museum"
"Very tired of the NSA reading my tweets and not retweeting them."
"Sending dick pics is for amateurs... Real men get out there and disappoint women in real life."