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Joke of the Day

"Jared Fogle just got arrested for Child Pornography Charges. I'm sure he'll be getting plenty of foot longs where he's going..."

"A golden joke... Did you hear about the man who robbed the bank? He went up to the cashier and demanded all the gold. When the thief ran away, the cashier yelled, ""A u!"""

"[interrogation] ""What do you do for a living?"" ""Kidnapper."" ""Louder for the tape?"" [leans in] ""I'm a pig rapper. I make farmyard hiphop."""

"if a plumber's career can go down the drain... And a fireman's job can go up in smoke, can a hooker get laid off?"

"A good artist knows where to draw the line."

"What did Mike Tyson call the groom with cold feet? A Puthy"

"I told the doctor I had to see him right away because I thought I was shrinking. He said he was busy and I'd just have to be a little patient."

"STOP HITTING ON MY TWITTER CRUSH YOU... YOU... EQUALLY UNKNOWN INTERNET DUDE!"

"What do you call a wife that knows where her husband is at all time? A widow"

"I only stop browsing Reddit when I accidentally hit something ..or when it's time to wipe"