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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne doesn't come on a boys face till 14"

"I want to cover you in expensive things like gasoline."

"So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today."

"At first I wondered why the ball was getting closer. Then it hit me."

"I read a whole book on adhesive substances last night, I just couldn't put it down"

"Why don't astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space? Because they've just had a big launch."

"If my Sky Internet gets any slower by the time this video has downloaded the girl in it will be legal."

"Annoying guy trying to hit on me: This is like a scene from a romantic movie. Me: Yeah, I'm the iceberg and you're the Titanic. #Queen"

"female rappers the only flow female rappers have is their menstruation"

"*Shoves a guy* I think you mean the SECOND biggest ""The Sound of Music"" fan on earth, bro."