45947

Joke of the Day

"If you want sparkling, sophisticated conversation, catch me early in the month, before I've used up my ten free New York Times articles."

"Wanna go out with me? Make an awkward face for yes. Name the entire periodic table for no."

"What does Samuel Jackson say when he is mugging you? What's in your wallet?"

"Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow Mines made of mammary foam"

"Want to get your kids attention and make sure they hear what you say? Start whispering something to your spouse."

"A fun thing to yell at a magic show is ""BURN HIM, HE'S A WITCH"""

"Don't bring up something I said 30 minutes ago. I'm a different person, I've changed since then."

"Q: What do you get when you cross an Arab with a Mexican? A: Oil of Ole'"

"Knock Knock ""Who's there?"" ""Walter White."" Of course."

"What's the difference between a baby and a freezer? a freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it"