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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a baby and a freezer? a freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it"

"What does a virgin eat for breakfast? Has it been that long (Depending on the audience, it may be important to complete with a comedic pause and) ... ... since breakfast?"

"main difference between /news/ mods and north korea? one side executes people for no reasons and puts people in detentions camps, the other one is a country."

"In honor of America's upcoming Independence Day, do you know why America spells ""behavior"", ""color"", and ""humor"" the way they do? Because **fuck u**, that's why!"

"I submitted ten puns to a contest once hoping to win But no pun in ten did."

"As a kid I'd watch Price is Right and think ha that sucks he won furniture. Now I'm like, wow I can really use a new bedroom set."

"I don't know why everyone's complaining about chip card readers. I have bad credit."

"What does the H. in Jesus H. Christ stand for? Hallmark. God cares enough to send the very best."

"The shortest Irish joke in the world. Two Irishmen walked out of a pub."

"Leonard Cohen is jamming in heaven with Prince now. Really awkwardly. It's not going well. Their musical styles aren't compatible"