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Joke of the Day

"What's Bill Clintons favorite holiday? According to Lewinsky... Happy Employee Appreciation Day!"

"I treat my body like a temple. I fill it with crap for the afterlife..."

"Whenever someone talks to me, I freak out because I forget people can see me."

"Facetious. Because I like to use all vowels, in order."

"I attempted my first press-up today. Sadly I only smelled defeat."

"Why do clairvoyants have crystal balls? So they can see what's coming."

"#HowToGetABlackGirl Tell her she look like Rihanna even tho she look like whoopi goldberg in the color purple"

"A girl gets fired from her job with a Vegas outcall massage service Seems she rubbed too many guys the wrong way."

"[NBA Postgame] *LeBron wearing his fake glasses* ""Questions? Yes, Lois Lane from Daily Planet"" ""Yeah hi. I'll wait til LeBron comes out"""

"I said ""no"" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen."