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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to sue the airline because they damaged my luggage. I showed the badly damaged remains to my lawyer. He said ""You don't have much of a case."""

"Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere! source: https://twitter.com/AntiJokes_Kapil"

"*puts stethoscope up to chest* Dr: I dont hear..U don't have a heart Karen ""Did my ex Kyle put u up to this?"" *Im in the bushes giggling*"

"It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard."

"What are the best clothes to wear to the dance club? Boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants..."

"Fred keeps telling me that he's going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh what a shame! And you've been engaged for such a long time!"

"Feeling sick at work. Subway to the bus-$5 Bus to commuter lot-$2 Puking in my car-$0 Guy in the car next to me puking in response-priceless"

"A pedo, an alcoholic, and a priest walk in to a bar. And that's just the first guy."

"[spelling bee] judge: your word is serendipity. me: can you use it in a sentence. judge: sure. gary googled the word serendipity."

"What do they call Counter-Strike in the Middle East? Tuesday."