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Joke of the Day

"Caitlin Jenner and the Carolina Panthers have some things in common... There balls drop when they get hit by sacks."

"Ate a salad for lunch so basically I didn't eat lunch."

"Q: How do you keep a moron in suspense?"

"What happened when Steve Irwin forgot to put on sunscreen? He got hurt from harmful rays"

"Why is it that whenever you complement someone on their mustache... suddenly she's not your friend anymore?"

"I thought about going on an all-almond diet But that's just nuts."

"What do you call citizens of Florida who eat at Chick-Fil-A? Gay-ters"

"If my wife ever hired a private detective to follow me, it would be to get pictures of me not using the coupons I said I used."

"I can't believe the Toronto maple leafs even have a website They can't even put THREE W's together!"

"Mother Paper Bag: We need to talk. Teen Bag: *removes earbud* What? M: Your father was plastic. T: But - M: It's true. You're a mixed bag."