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Joke of the Day
"If i had a dollar for every time i heard the word trump I would have it on repeat while i slept."
Next Joke
"A pirate is never late.... (x-post from Funny) A pirate is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to. Although admittedly drunk, on fire and uninvited."
"Muslim: I do not eat bacon. Jew: I do not eat bacon. Me: I will have their bacon."
"The United States government."
"How much money does a gay pornstar earn? A buttload"
"What does the Russian President enjoy having on his fries? Putine..."
"What do Orphans get for Christmas? Lonely."
"Me: can i play music Funeral director: that's not appropriate Me: nana would've wanted it Director: ok CD player: someBODY once told me"
"Someone came to my door today asking for donations to the local swimming pool So I gave them a glass of water"
"Praying: It's like wanting to help without actually having to help"