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Joke of the Day
"Why are envelopes and papers white? Because blackmail is illegal."
Next Joke
"I like my women like I like my wine... 7 years old and locked up in a cellar"
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin"
"[Call from cell company] We can give you 15 gigs for $100 Me: Excellent! *Puts the band back together"
"Spell Xenophobia H-A-N-S-O-N"
"My mom moved me away from Texas as a kid, statistically decreasing the chance I ever get the death penalty and that's pretty cool"
"Both of my marriages have been disappointing. My first wife left me and my second one didn't.marr"
"""FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!"" Mother Nature"
"Cop: Know why I pulled you over? Me: Because I'm black?? Cop: Sir, you're white, driving 90 in a 30. Me: Racist. Cop: Get out."
"I was born to be happy... not normal."