45775

Joke of the Day

"Why do cops get mad when other cops have jurisdiction over a case? I'd be like cool I'm going home to eat."

"What did the cashew say to the sneezing peanut? ""Yes, what is it?"""

"Went to buy face moisturizer and the young girl at counter said, ""Lets find something for mature skin."" And then Security had to escort me."

"What did the Office of Admissions say to the recently-accepted Urology student? ""Ur-ine!"""

"What do toys and boobs have in common? **They were both originally made for *kids*, but *dad* ends up playing with them!**"

"What kind of ant can count? An account*ant*."

"Brian Williams told me if I lied I can get to the front page."

"Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms."

"What do you call shit that comes out with a fart? An Unexpecturd."

"What do I think about my toes? They couldn't be further from my mind."