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Joke of the Day

"Gregor Mendel's wife asks him why he is always working so much. He says: Bitch, peas"

"I don't care what everyone says, I think my Jersey Shore hairstyle makes me look sophisticated."

"What is so bad about being half black and half asian? You can steal a car but you can't drive it."

"Q: How do you make anti-freeze? A: Take away her blanket."

"It's a beautiful day to sit outside and stare into your phone."

"Why didnt the asian block a punch coming to his face? He couldn't see it coming"

"I like my KitKat like I like my girls: Two at once."

"What was the best thing about Jesus' crucifixion? Well, the cross was a big plus"

"Hitlers Joke My dog has no nose. Well how does it smell? Awful."

"Trainer: ""ok, lets warm up 1st....wait, where are you going!?"" Me: ""tanning bed"""