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Joke of the Day

"Brian Williams told me if I lied I can get to the front page."

"Sad Dick A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."

"Did you hear about the woman who used a fake name and married a renown psychologist? She committed Frued. Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week."

"What do you get if you cross King Kong with a budgie? A messy cage."

"I find it quite sexy to see cum dribbling out of a girl's vagina. But not if I've just taken off her knickers."

"How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Can't be done, it's a hardware problem."

"I've written a musical called Fish. It's very similar to Cats, although Memory's a lot shorter."

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is a registered 6 offender"

"The people doing it in pornos are in love, right?"

"The average person swallows 3 cats on their drive home from work."