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Joke of the Day

"Whenever a long lost friend calls me, I get suspicious & wonder if he's calling me to sell Amway products.."

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"How do philosophers shave off their beards? Occam's razor"
"If pro and con are opposites... Is progress the opposite of Congress?"
"New rule for football: when a player is at the bottom of a pile after being tackled everyone on top has to whisper to him a compliment"
"Why are the old trees always yelling? They were all petrified."
"Why don't Dallas Cowboy fans take their wives to the football games? 'Cause they jump the fence and eat the grass."
"If Ebenezer Scrooge were a sheep, what kind of hat would he wear? A Baa-Homburg!"
"That awkward moment when you have to get over someone you never even dated."
"Why doesn't Yogi wear shoes? He likes to go... bearfoot! I'll see myself out..."
"What do you call a blowjob from a vampire? Blood sausage."
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