171069
Joke of the Day
"If Ebenezer Scrooge were a sheep, what kind of hat would he wear? A Baa-Homburg!"
Next Joke
"The winner of Powerball should really invest in a diverse portfolio There's also Mega Millions, Tri-State, and SuperLotto."
"I have a bit of a sinking feeling about today I feel like it's a day of titanic proportions, but my memory of what it could be is completely drowned out."
"How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just sit in the dark and cry."
"Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards."
"It must be tough having the world's best clown as your dad. You would have such big shoes to fill"
"Mmmmm.... delicious!"
"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About halfway there."
"I told my GF I was buying her some diamonds for her birthday. She said that nothing would please her more. So I got her nothing."
"Who's Becky, Stan? She's just a country!"