45645

Joke of the Day

"What's the greatest trick the Austrians ever pulled off? It was to convince the world that Mozart was Austrian and that Hitler in fact was German."

"What happened when a whore house caught on fire? Some came out running, others ran out coming."

"I'd like to introduce you to someone. Black jelly bean, this is garbage can. Garbage can, this is black jelly bean."

"Marriage - Some days are just tough I look forward to those"

"""I'm up for anything"" - penises"

"Just met a guy.Omg he was so fit! Just met a guy.Omg he was so fit. Handsome even. Never will I met a guy like him again. Caring. Emotional. Nice. And his name was the first letter of each sentence"

"The best thing about humans is that many of the richest and most prosperous among us collect bottles of rotten grape juice."

"I worked at a Chili's when I was in college, which is so embarrassing. I usually just tell people I was a stripper."

"I'm not afraid to admit that I'm not the sharpest elevator in the sea."

"Gas is $4 a gallon and girls still think we're coming over to just ""chill."""