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Joke of the Day

"Why do men like love at first sight? Because he knows it's all over as soon as she opens her mouth."

"Duck Sausage Would you call Cajun sausage made from animated young ducks Huey Louie Andouille?"

"Being single is nice because I don't have to repeat my mumbled gibberish in a defensive tone."

"What's the difference between an onion and a prostitute ? I don't cum when the onion cries and begs for mercy as I cut it up."

"If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog because he shuts up after you let him in."

"Of all my mistakes, you were the mistakiest"

"WHAT'S THE POINT OF A PSYCHIC HOTLINE IF THEY WON'T TELL ME WHERE MY OTHER SHOE IS?!"

"Whats the difference between a lesbian and a wheat-thin? Ones a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker."

"What kind of dog is the most colorful? A paint Bernard!"

"When a cop pulls you over, pull out a map and ask them for directions until they forget that they pulled you over. -me, right now"