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Joke of the Day

"Let my legacy to this whole thing be a single outstretched middle finger with fire where a fingernail should be"

"What is better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded"

"What did Stevie Wonder say when he found out he was blind...? ""At least I'm not black"""

"I think the worst part about making your own porn movie is . . . . . .when the couple hear you in the cupboard"

"Adding a smiley face after anything makes things seem playful. Examples: You're a slut:) You're ugly:) I killed your puppy:)"

"Heart melting love story: Boy: My wife & 2 kids. Heart melting love story: Boy: I can't marry u. My family is totally against it. Girl: Who r they 2 stop u? Boy: My wife & 2 kids."

"Doctor: It looks like you're pregnant Woman: I'm pregnant? Doctor: No it just looks like you are"

"Opinions are like assholes... I'd rather not hear yours."

"The hipster A hipster was traveling down some river rapids. He came across a fork in the river and decided to take the left fork because the right was too mainstream"

"I never understood how a mother could lift a car with a child trapped under, until my phone got stuck under my bed."