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Joke of the Day

"Cashier: do you need bags? Me: do any of us NEED anything? Cashier: sir, I have a liberal arts degree too Me: plastic please"

"What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine."

"How are the Houston Rockets just like Metapod? All they've got is Harden"

"LAWYER JOKE whats the difference between a lawyer and a liar? liars sometimes unknowingly speak the truth"

"Why do they bury police officers 6ft under. Because deep down they are good people."

"Me: ""Can you go back four slides?"" Bride: ""To the wedding dress?"" Me: ""No, the cheese plate."" Me: Wipes tears."

"A guy walks into a bar.... ouch"

"The only time I hate being single is when I knock something over & catch it before it hits the ground but there's no one around to see it."

"Whenever I see a couple with a significant height difference, I always picture them doing it."

"If I had a dollar for every woman who found me unattractive... They would eventually find me attractive"