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Joke of the Day

"Hear about the blonde explorer? She bought a piece of sandpaper thinking it was a map of the Sahara Desert."

"My daughter called Neapolitan ice cream ""three-way"" ice cream & I'm not sure I'll correct her cuz I'm a horrible person & it makes me laugh."

"I'm not into Russian dolls anymore. They are so fucking full of themselves."

"[sexy time] Me: Let me be your fantasy. Him: It's a Star Wars thing. Me: Say no more. *leaves* *comes back dressed as Yoda*"

"How do you kill 10 flies at once? Slap an African child in the face."

"How do you get your partner to give you head? Put them in a guillotine."

"What do you get if you insert human DNA into a monkey? AIDS for humanity"

"How does a sea urchin search the internet? sea urchingine"

"Why wouldn't blastoise share with charizard? He was a shellfish pokemon."

"Drake the type of nigga to get a wanted star in Grand Theft Auto, drive to the police station and turn himself in."