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Joke of the Day

"My wife came out of the shower and said, ""I shaved ""down there"". You know what that means?"" I said, ""Yeah you clogged the drain again."""

"Why shouldn't white people go swimming? Nobody likes a soggy cracker!"

"I swallowed a Watch the other day... Now I'm just trying to pass the time."

"Just got hired on at a high end restaurant, my main job so far has been oyster preparation And I've gotta say, it really shucks"

"When I finally had sex in a hall of mirrors I was fucking beside myself."

"What is the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire"

"Guys whose fathers left when they were young always complain about how they never had someone to ""teach them how to shave"" but it's easy... You start at the ankle and work your way up!"

"People always ask why I'm wearing a sombrero in my high school graduation pictures. Clearly, because it was my senor year."

"I approve of free range parenting the meat just tastes better."

"new stereotype I just invented: everyone else but me is bad at navigating their cart at Costco"