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Joke of the Day

"Animals can sense disasters before they happen. That's why the neighbors dog barks whenever I make a move on a girl."

"What does Kayne West masturbate to? He masturbates to the sight of his ego."

"I just had sex with an Astronaut ... It was outta this world"

"*wife & I finally look up from our phones after 9 months* ""Have you had the kid yet?"" -No ""Well, I'm level 77 on candy crush."""

"Apparently today is coming out day in Chile."

"""Scientology"" is a combination of ""scient-,"" meaning ""science,"" and ""-ology,"" meaning ""science."" And it just gets stupider from there."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alistair ! Alistair who ? Alistairs in this house are broken !"

"Why do trees shed their leaves in fall? Because they've had their chloro-fill."

"Rioters are like school in July. No class."

"What do you get when you cross a feminist with a non-feminist? Triggernometry"