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Joke of the Day

"Carson: No it wasn't a friend it was a close family member. And I didn't stab her I froze her heart. ""Sir, that's the plot of Frozen."""

Next Joke
 
"Hid my daughters ipod in my other daughters room cause they've been getting along lately and there's nothing on tv tonight."
"ME: I need to pee really bad TEACHER: can you hold it? ME: probably not. my hands aren't very good at retaining liquid"
"Plot twist: ""Luke, I am your Mother."" - Yoda"
"FRIEND: haha she's so cutesay it for him honey HER TODDLER: the moon is cheeeeese ME: well what have we here, a tiny liar"
"Who is that only black guy at the family reunion? Your fat sisters boyfriend"
"I feel bad for men with erectile disfunction, but they all seem to be handling it well. It's like all of them literally can't give a fuck."
"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly this dick in your mouth."
"What idiot named it the English Channel instead of the BB Sea"
"Daily 'Facts About CHEESE' Fact About Cheese #3: ""String Cheese. Is not made of string."""