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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an impatient skin infection? *Rash*"

"A family of ducks walks into a church. ""Hi, yes, umm...I hear you have a man who turned his body into bread?"" The father asks timidly."

"My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is getting better!"

"My wife and I just celebrated our 5th anniversary. A traditional gift would be something wood. So I gave her some wood. ALL NIGHT LONG."

"A little girl is having a tea party with her teddy bear, and she asks it.... ""Would you like anything to eat Mr. Bear?"" The bear responds: ""No, I'm stuffed."""

"So 3, 4, and 5 fell down a flight of stairs... Now they're a Pythagorean cripple."

"Why did the young boat dock before it was ready? Pier Pressure"

"How many Vietnam Vets will it take to change a ligh...nevermind, man! You wouldn't understand cuz you weren't there, man!"

"This may sound arrogant but I think I could make a better Periodic Table."

"I walked by a girl the other day who I swore had twelve nipples Sounds weird, dozen tit?"