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Joke of the Day

"Please, baseball fans. Enthrall me with complex details about a game where someone hits the ball with a stick and runs around in a circle."

"I'm out of coffee until tomorrow, but I just saw three squirrels doing it together so I guess my Monday's balancing out pretty well."

"I tried coke once. And then for like another 3 years to make sure I didn't like it"

"Why did the thief take a bath? To get a clean getaway"

"Why did mozart kill his chickens? Because they were always saying, ""Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach"""

"Jesus may have fed fishes and loaves to 5000 people.... But hitler made 6 million jews toast."

"Fairy tales My granddaughter asked me, ""Do all fairy tales begin with ""Once upon a time?"" I said, no, some begin with ""If elected, I promise to........................"""

"Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there what are you taking for it? Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?"

"""Welcome to the future. Let me show you around. Here's the bathroom. This is a robot that we invented that screams at your wet hands."""

"Why people who work with computers have a lot of spare time"