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Joke of the Day

"Actual quote from a kid visiting from China Q: Do you like it hear in America? K: Yes. Q: Why? K: Because the sky here is blue."

"I remember back when the media didn't have to invent names like ""polar vortex"" to tell us that it is cold during winter..."

"What should we call this portable computer? SOME GUY: Laptop [everyone applauds...w/ tears in my eyes i crumple a paper that says Kneeputer]"

"What do you call it when an ex pees on you? EX-STREAM!"

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"My lesbian friends got me a Rolex for Christmas I don't think they understood when I said 'I wanna watch'"

"What do you call a Dothraki mathematician? Khal-culator."

"You know the difference between St. Patrick's day and Martin Luther King Jr. Day? On St. Patrick's day, everyone wants to be Irish."

"Have you ever smelled Moth Balls? How'd you get your head between it's legs??.."

"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Wiped his ass"