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Joke of the Day

"You know the difference between St. Patrick's day and Martin Luther King Jr. Day? On St. Patrick's day, everyone wants to be Irish."

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"bury me in a dog park so i can be some dogs treasure"
"Johnny shows his new watch to his girl friend. Johnny: My watch says you are not a virgin Girl: But I'm still a virgin Johnny: My watch is 20 minutes fast"
"A pen and a pencil race. Who won? The Pencil. He lead from start to finish."
"What is the fastest cake in the world? Scone."
"I sealed a fart in a jar for my wife to open because I know how to romance a lady."
"Where does a dog go when he loses his tail a retail store"
"I started a business... I started a business selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof."
"We've just put the swimming pool up for the kids, not sure if I'm gonna hide in it, but I'm definitely gonna... Lilo"
"What do you get if you cross the Queen and Prince Philip? Murdered in a tunnel in Paris."