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Joke of the Day

"Our brain took two billion years to evolve. Two billion trips around the Sun. All so humans can use it to look at kittens on the Internet."

"A known sex maniac, on the publication of his memoir, was asked how he felt about his past exploits. ""I remember them fondly."""

"Why don't women run fast?? cause they hate getting fat!! edit: It's physics. The faster an object moves, the heavier it gets."

"My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees. I thought she was joking... and then I saw her face..."

"How does an elephant hide in the jungle? It paints its balls red and climbs up a cherry tree. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? A giraffe eating cherries."

"STUDENT: Will there be a final? PROFESSOR: Does a bear shit in the woods? BEAR STUDENT: *from the back row* Thats none of your damn business"

"So I'm chatting to this 14 year old on the Internet.. She is funny, flirty, sexy and intelligent and now she's telling me she's an undercover cop, how cool is that at her age!"

"What's Masta P's favorite fruit? Ba-na-na-na! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5ZvzIOO6aU"

"It's OK to pet him. Buffalo are gentle creatures."

"Me: hey squirrel, dnt steal d pigeon's food, the eggs are about to hatch S: u stole a cake frm ur roomate Me: Me: here, take the eggs too"