82047

Joke of the Day

"[marriage counseling] She thinks I'm stupid ""He covers himself in baby powder before we have sex"" HOW ELSE DO YOU MAKE A BABY, KAREN?"

"A businessman becomes a president Seriously this is a fucking joke"

"If you drop your cellphone in water put it in a bowl of rice... It will attract an Asian who will fix it for you. (just heard from buddy of mine)"

"How hard do you think Joe Biden laughs when a senate's bill gets 69 votes? I bet he has to leave the room."

"I got jumped the other night, the muggers made off with my wallet, cuff links, and mood ring... I'm still not sure how I feel about that."

"Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal"

"[bankruptcy court] JUDGE: *rubbing bridge of nose* Says here you bought 1000 bouncy castles? ME: *lips on mic* For my kingdom, Your Honor"

"What did the silkworm comment on the message board? ""This thread is shit."""

"Why do golf commentators speak softly? To not wake the audience."

"What do you call a homeless horse with a Borderline Personality Disorder ? Unstable."