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Joke of the Day

"People need to learn the difference between heroin and heroine. One is exceedingly more difficult to fit into a syringe."

"What do you need to split a photon? A lightsabre"

"Whats the ISIS members' astrological sign? Sad terrorist"

"I always eat at McDonald's when they do the Monopoly pieces. 1 in 4 wins obesity."

"Why does the Devil hate the holiday Season? Because he gets so many letters from dyslexic children."

"Someone stole my mood ring... I don't know how I feel about that."

"My dentist is going to be so proud of me! I've been brushing my teeth like ten times a day since I started using Betty Crocker toothpaste."

"When someone uses an elipsis at the end of a text message I assume they fell off a cliff."

"When someone says ""It's getting hot in here"" I automatically think, ""So take off all your clothes""."

"Two non-english speaking Mexican go to gran central... One of them goes up to the cashier and asks for ""tu tickets plees"". The cashier asks ""one-way?"" To which the Mexican responds ""no, two gueys."""