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Joke of the Day

"Why does the Devil hate the holiday Season? Because he gets so many letters from dyslexic children."

"3yo: make me oatmeal me: *poof* you're oatmeal 3yo: me: *makes oatmeal"

"My friend David had his Id stolen. Now we just call him Dav.."

"I'm just waiting for the right person to come along and mistake my crippling pessimism for an attractive sense of humor."

"If you see your ex, wrap your hands behind your neck and pretend you're making out with someone. That'll show him you're still crazy AF."

"Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs? A: Still no ideer"

"How many Freudian psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Penis. I mean, 1."

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts cost $2.00, but deer nuts are under a buck!"

"What does the chicken do to get through college? She strips."

"What's half of 8? 5. The other half is 3."