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Joke of the Day

"There's a one-eyed doctor round my way that gives out free body parts. He gives me the willies."

"Why did Popeye beat up the Pope? He heard he was going to Mount Olive"

"This youth group broke the number one cardinal rule of making money at a Car Wash. They let the fat chick hold the car wash sign."

"[x-post from r/dyslexia] Today I misread 63 as 68 so it took me twice as long to get home with the public transport Whoops, wrong bus"

"How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian."

"How do you know when an accountant's on holidays? He doesn't wear a tie to work and comes in after 8.30."

"Why do rapists go after fat women? Because no one will believe them."

"Things 2010 owes me: 1. Transporters 2. Jetpacks 3. Laser boobs"

"What did the Italian historian ask when he saw the original copies of one of the tragedian's greatest plays? Euripides?"

"My wife is my sex object Everytime i ask for sex, she object."