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Joke of the Day
"Where do hippos go to school? The Hippocampus!"
Next Joke
"Where do you find a quadriplegic? There where you left him."
"I watch Looney Tunes before I go to work, because there's something about old school cartoon violence that relaxes me"
"Did you hear about the sexually frustrated lawyer? He got off on a technicality."
"What's the difference between Jews and Pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven."
"-What should we name this creature w/ big feet? ""Bigfoot"" -And this w/ saber teeth? ""Sabertooth"" -And this beaverduck? ""Platypus"" -wtf dude"
"Just getting romantic with the wife when our slow cooker set off our smoke alarm so yes, I was crock blocked."
"I'm not gonna partake in this ""I hate Monday morning"" thing because I hate all work days equally."
"[1st date] HER: I'm such a nerd! I love when a guy talks sciency HIM: Oh haha [to waiter] A salad with umm *sweating* kilo-island dressing"
"What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a female track team? One is a cunning bunch of runts..."