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Joke of the Day

"No internet for 11 hours. I've written two novels, lost 15 pounds, and forgotten how to pronnounce ""gif."""

"If Britney Spears can get through 2007 you can get through school..."

"I decided to come to my friends as transparent they saw right through me."

"What did the Jewish pedophile say to the children? Want to buy a piece of candy?"

"What's Obama's Favorite TV Show? Game of Drones"

"You don't need to put ""narcissist"" in your bio. This is twitter, that shit goes without saying."

"My workplace scheduled Sexual Harassment Training. Needless to say, I was greatly disappointed."

"My wife is so much more attractive without having glasses on. That's why I always take mine off when I get home from work!"

"One thing that all us white guys from the suburbs can agree on is if a black guy has a British accent, we're 85% less scared of him."

"""Snap! The Rice Krispie cereal mascot just isn't my type... ...his idea of a date is to just 'Crackle and Pop'"""