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Joke of the Day

"""Dad why do you write so slow?"" asked Dennis. ""I have to"" replied his father. ""I'm a slow reader."""

"There's this app on my phone that makes me look ugly. It's called ""Camera."""

"Son: Mom, dad, I'm gay. Mom: *gasp* Dad: *clenches fists* Mom: Honey, stop! Dad: *steps forward* Mom: N- Dad: HI GAY, I'M DAD."

"When someone walks next to me at the same speed I want to grab their hand and start skipping"

"It is said that wearing T-shirts make you feel cooler in Summer I've been wearing a dozen of them but it's still hot like hell. Damn."

"I like my coffee like I like my girlfriend Not fucking my best friend STACY YOU WHORE!"

"Why couldn't the alligator send e-mails on his PC? Because it was on old croc."

"It's actually pretty convenient the Alan Rickman died so soon after David Bowie. You can just move your lightning bolt up a few inches for the funeral and fit right in."

"Why don't hat store owners and pet shop owner get along? Because you can't be a fan of hat care and cat hair."

"My mother and father separated last year and my father recently started seeing someone and it's been very hard for me. There are two major issues I have with his new partner. He's black."