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Joke of the Day

"Diet diary, day 3 I am so proud of myself, I refused to eat the birthday cake. But the cup cakes were amazing."

"Two fish are swimming when they run into a wall. One of the fish turns to the other and says ""damn."""

"I saw a documentary about how ships are held together It was riveting"

"What do you attach to a transgender chicken? Dez Nuts!"

"I hope that bee enjoyed the close-up of my face because that's the last thing he ever saw. #rip"

"Mr. Rogers misled kids by making them believe that running into people you know is good."

"[At job interview] M. ""No, English is my second language."" I. ""What's your first language then?"" M. ""Emoji."""

"Statically, 1 in every 10 people live next to a pedophile. Not me though, I live next to a little boy with a fat ass"

"I like when you see a guy with a beard and you can immediately tell he's fashioned his entire thing/vibe/life around having that beard."

"Only Christians will get this... Eternal life."