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Joke of the Day

"Two fish are swimming when they run into a wall. One of the fish turns to the other and says ""damn."""

"Look iPhone, if I wanted to be constantly be corrected today, I would have stayed home with my wife"

"I was pooping in a bathroom with no windows when the there was a power outage. When I had to wipe my butt I couldn't see shit."

"I don't need a reason to enjoy a little wine. I just need a glass."

"Girl: We have a mayor. Do you? Horse: Sure! Girl: What do you call it? Horse: Same as you do. Mare!"

"Do you know how to tell if a date rapist put a roofie in your drink? Wanna beer?"

"""Hey what should we call our multi-million dollar juice company?"" ""Juicy Juice"" ""What? Are you sure? Why don't we-"" ""Juicy. Juice."""

"How to make $500 fast Attach it to a rocket Credit: 4chan"

"I was angry when my neighbors put a fence around their swimming pool but then I got over it"

"a bottle of cyanide labeled GHOST PILLS"