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Joke of the Day

"Relationship Status: Married long enough to know when I hear her say ""I love you,"" she's talking to our dog."

"Did you hear about that earthquake yesterday? I heard it was groundbreaking."

"What did Cinderella say before she got to the ball? Aghagghhghgagaggag (Those are supposed to be gagging noises)"

"An archeologist found a tampon. He wondered what period it was from. (Not my joke! Credit to Shane Koyczan's poet friend)"

"What's the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with large breasts? One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean Credit; Dad"

"My dad has a weird hobby, he collects empty bottles. Which sounds a lot better than alcoholic."

"I like my meat the way I like my grades... ...Well Done."

"Got Christmas card glitter all over me and now I can't stop stripping."

"What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap? You did that on porpoise"

"How do dogs do business? Pro-bono"