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Joke of the Day
"When a pregnant woman swims she is literally a human submarine."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a Greyhound terminal in New Jersey and a voluptuous lobster? One's a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean"
"""Wow, this toilet is really uncomfortable..."" ~Me drunk in the hot tub as my guests throw themselves out"
"How do you make a Tissue Dance ? You put a little Boogie in it."
"Choose your pet name wisely because you'll be yelling it out in your neighborhood if you lose them. *uses falsetto voice* MR. SMOOCHES!!"
"Pretty fed up with the fact that pandemonium almost NEVER involves pandas."
"BREAKING NEWS: Scientists sneak up on Periodic Table, add element of Surprise"
"Something is always going on in the kitchen, but you never know whats cooking till the end when you eat... Is that why they call it the final supper?"
"Did you hear about the new morning-after pill for men? It changes your blood type"
"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance We'll see about that."