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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a pun in a marathon? A running joke"

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"What's the difference between a circus and a strip club? One has cunning stunts the other has stunning..."
"The look on my husbands face while watching a Victoria's Secret commercial tells me exactly where all my catalogs went."
"What was the old man in despair about? Nothing."
"Why are squirrels actions so sexual? They are always trying to bust a nut"
"there should be 1 line at every store for people who have their shit together"
"A little bird told me I'm on LSD and talking to a bird."
"Did you hear about the stupid turkey? It was looking forward to Christmas!"
"She said yes.. Unfortunately the question was 'is this definitely rape'"
"Me: do you like bad boys? Her: no Me: are you sure? Her: [covers her dog's ears] okay yes"