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Joke of the Day

"She said yes.. Unfortunately the question was 'is this definitely rape'"

"""Did you know it's impossible to lick your elbow?"" ""No it's not. Here, try!"""

"So a local photographer started seeing a chemist from out of town... I heard their relationship was developing quite nicely."

"If a girl texts you back ""k"" check all your previous messages to see where you fu*ked up."

"""OMG, I FORGOT TO CHECK FACEBOOK"" - somebody almost about to get some work done"

"Q: Why couldn't the cat speak? A: The dog taped his mouth."

"Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they'll paw at you a little bit then give up and go look for food.."

"I recommend all Apple users turn off the iCloud function on their devices... not only are you at risk of your nude photos leaking, but now you're at risk of getting the new U2 album too."

"People that start a sentence with ""Now I'm not trying to be rude"" are either about to be rude, or about to sing Ignition by R Kelly."

"I like my coffee like I like my men Black and shot twice"