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Joke of the Day

"What's the sharpest thing in the word? A fart. It goes right through your pants and doesn't leave a hole."

"You can't fix stupid, but you can buy it a drink and tell it you're in Maroon 5"

"I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred... The top answer was: ""How in the hell did you get in here?"""

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window."

"Sat here scratching my ass, spying on the neighbour washing her beaver, it dawns on me. We have some non-traditional pets on our cul-de-sac."

"'50 shades of gray' -worst set of crayola colored pencils."

"You find love when you're not looking for it, and you can't find it when you really want to. It's sh!t like this that makes me drink."

"City Life At first I was Ern(e)st and Young, but then became Standard and Poor: yet when I got broody I was rated as Moody, loosing my triple A score"

"What is Hillary Clinton's favorite type of shoes? Scandals"

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a baby who just got HIV? I didn't rape Donald Trump"