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Joke of the Day
"Me: pew pew...pew pew pew Guy at next urinal: Please stop"
Next Joke
"Grampa: Back in my day, we slept on broken glass, you dunno how lucky you are. Me: Grampa, please. We have Twitter, at least you GOT sleep."
"What is Hillary Clinton's favorite dice game? Benghahtzee."
"Cher puts out an album only covering Meatloaf. Title: Cher the Meatloaf"
"I saw an amateur ventriloquist the other night. The performance was a little wooden."
"Two jews walk into A bar... Ahbar then gets insulted that the jews even looked at him and demands that his country declares war on Israel for these unspeakable crimes."
"-Knock Knock! -Who is it? -The love of your life. - :) Really? -Hahahaha no, it's the pizza you ordered."
"When talking with a woman in her 30s, it's super important to always pretend to be shocked when she tells you she's in her 30s."
"What is the most racist type of bread? A biguette"
"dont read space facts to try to calm yourself down bc it doesnt work.for example the moon is not round it is shaped like an egg. im furious"