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Joke of the Day

"A moment of silence for the fat friend in a group of girls who can't jump high enough to be in the ""mid air"" beach picture :("

"How to annoy your children: Me: Don't come in here without knocking Child: Ok *leaves* *knocks* M: Who is it? C: It's me! M: Go away"

"Why was the Muslim rubbing the goat? Not because he was in to bestiality, you Islamophobe. He was at the petting zoo for his wife's 9th birthday"

"[jungle book] bagheera: ""you can't fight him like a wolf, you're NOT a wolf, fight him like a man"" mowgli: [writes a strongly worded e-mail]"

"Why does repost always get to the top?... Most people reddit before"

"Our daughter ran away from home once when she was a teenager. We were frantic. Within months, we called the police to report her missing."

"Knock knock Who's there? Little boy blue Little boy blue who? Michael Jackson"

"I was considering getting a sex-change... But I lost my tran of thought."

"How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer"

"if I am elected governor I will eat your pillow while you sleep and unlike my opponent I will also do it if I am not elected"