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Joke of the Day

"When is a door NOT a door? When it's ajar."

"I realized today why some people spend their lives looking for bigfoot. He doesn't exist."

"Secret agents asking citizens to please speak more clearly in all phone calls. Also, cut the chitchat and get to the good stuff, they ask."

"Where does Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"i wear my ninja turtles costume on all of my first dates just to weed out the weirdos."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll add to the global overdepletion of the oceans. So just give him the fish."

"A woman stopped me in the street and asked me how i view lesbian relationships Apparently in HD wasn't the right answer. :/"

"A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar... ...and they have a good time because because they're not fucking assholes."

"I made a belt, entirely composed of watches It was a waist of time"

"Did you hear the amusement park was offering free bungee jumping? No strings attached!"