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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after three periods."

"My friend asked me if I wanted to skip class. I said ""nah, I think I'll pass."""

"When grocery shopping, I only buy foods that can also be used as a weapon. Cantaloupe is a good example of this."

"Self checkouts are great if you're in a hurry or don't want to pay for everything."

"What do you call a tavern that only serves non-alcoholic drinks? A pro-teen bar"

"What is R. Kelly's favorite group to feature? Black Guy Pees."

"How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch!"

"A friend just texted me & asked for relationship advice. That's like asking the pope to name all the members of Slipknot."

"I remember a time when I was much younger and had an infinite supply of drugs and booze. Then some c**ksucker cut the umbilical cord."

"I read in the news today that a man in Los Angeles was killed when he got caught up in a turf war. I wonder if he was mowed down?"